i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
