I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
