so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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