direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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