Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
