I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
