i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize