Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Oh god it's open bar.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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