Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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