I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
