I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
