Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
