I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Let's paint friendship bongs
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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