Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
