Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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