That's when you crack a 10am beer
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
