dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
