did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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