I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
