I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
