I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
as a side note pls kill me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize