East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
