If i come over, it means nothing
okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
