You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
