I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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