haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
