I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Acid is not a monday night drug
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
