I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
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Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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