the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
