Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
