I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
