butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
