I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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