Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize