Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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