i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
