I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
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Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
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You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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