Where did you get a picture of my penis
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
