dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
