Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
