I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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