are you so shy because you have an std?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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