His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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