Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he quoted the bible to break up with me
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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