And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
