end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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