Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
