Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
