Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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