we have officially lost it.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
