my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize