whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
