feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize