Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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