I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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