he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
