She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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