the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
