Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
