I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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