...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
