a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I had to cum in my sink.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
